tw for abuse culture
tw for abuse culture
like is it wrong to think discussing how a relationship was dysfunctional/abusive shouldn’t turn into but let’s talk about the abuser and how steph is partly to blame for being abused
because i’m really upset that this turned into a discussion about cass’s experience and…
Well, I’m working on a really long response, but I think the area where I personally see Cass being more disadvantaged is in terms of speech/disability. Stephanie has a tendency to hit directly at that spot sometimes and act like Cass doesn’t have feelings because Cass can’t say them as well. Cass generally has more power in the relationship, but Stephanie does have power in that one area and having a disability myself, I often flinch reading some of the ways that Steph (among many, many others) talk about Cass to her face with regards to her not being able to talk. They often basically act as if she can’t understand anything and doesn’t care about anything even when they should know so much better.
This isn’t to say that Cass’s abusive (yes) treatment of Steph is at all, at ALL okay. It isn’t. And, as I said, Cass usually is the one with more power in the relationship so it often is her being the abusive one, but in this one specific area the power shifts and Stephanie is more abusive to Cass.
This is a good point which lies generally outside of what I’ve read of the two of them, and something I haven’t noticed as much; your reading is definitely valid, important, and worth talking about.
My original point still stands, though—the other reblogs felt derailing and dismissive to reblog the post to talk about how Cass feels, especially since I do read her as the abuser in the situation. I agree that it’s important to talk about! But I really don’t think that was the right space for it.
this is a little different, i think? i still don’t think it’s the right space, but it’s definitely not as upsetting, so.
Mm. I think what happened (and please correct me if I am wrong, this is me trying to understand what happened) people - including myself- sort of jumped on your post and treated it like a general discussion topic of abuse in Cass and Steph’s relationship, when you were writing you original post more as a personal feelings post about your individual reactions to the ship. A general discussion is apparently something people are looking for, but it was not what you were trying to have and, considering that you were talking about it because it was actively upsetting to you, was an inappropriate discussion to have at that time and based off your original post in reblogs etc. So, I apologize to contributing to that.
I’d also like to apologize because I saw in one of the reblog chains that you don’t like it being assumed that you ship Steph and Cass and I did that, for whatever reason I thought you were one of the people who did. I apologize for that as well. And, I’m glad you made the post because I know I would just do it again and again and I don’t want to be the kind of person who hurts others that way.
